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I recently lost a friend to cancer. We had been buds for a long, long time. He was a fellow lover of horses and we had spent a lot of good times messing with them and riding the trails. We spent many an evening around a campfire after a long ride.
At his visitation, I spoke to his family members and other friends who had known him. I felt especially sorry for his wife and his children. I felt very badly for his family.
Then on the way home I kept feeling sorry for myself, because I knew I would never again share his company, ride a trail with him, or sit around another campfire and swap stories on any number of topics. I felt guilty for being wrapped up in sympathy for myself. But the more I think about it, the more I think that it may be okay. I think it's the definition of grieving. I feel badly for his family, but at the same time, I know that I sure am gonna miss him.
A poet by the name of Baxter Black wrote a poem called "Take Care of Yer Friends". Here's a piece from it....
A hug or a shake, whichever seems right
Is the high point of giving, I'll tell you tonight,
All worldly riches and tributes of men,
Can't hold a candle to the worth of a friend.